We’ve all been there: that awkward pause during a conversation when the silence seems to stretch to an eternity. Oh, no! Was it something you said? How do you fix it?

In our fast-paced society, with a constant stream of information, talk,
and even just “white noise” flowing around us at all times, we are
trained to feel the need to fill the empty spaces. And when these
pauses happen, especially during a job interview, most people’s first
thought is that something has gone dreadfully wrong with their
communication skills.

But this is not always the case. Pauses and silences are not
necessarily a breach in the communication skills of either the
interviewer or the interviewee. Instead, they are a necessary part of
processing information effectively, and can even be an indication that
the interview is going well!

Here are some examples of “healthy pauses” and how they can be used successfully during an interview.

• If the interviewer asks you a difficult question, it is
  perfectly fine to ask for a few moments to think about your answer.
  Most likely, the interviewer will be impressed that you are taking the
  time to carefully formulate your best response.
• If the
  interviewer is taking notes, give him or her time to write between each
  question. The fact that the interviewer is writing down your answers
  and their impressions means that they want to remember them – and
  that’s a good thing.
• Sometimes the interviewer may need a
  moment to think about your answer to a question. He or she may be
  considering an idea that hadn’t occurred to them until something you
  said triggers it, and may come up with a follow-up question or two that
  will help reveal something unique and useful about you in relation to
  the job at hand that would not come out if you nervously “fill the
  spaces”.

Some additional tips for using pauses and silence:

• Practice being comfortable during pauses. Learning to use
  silence effectively is as important to cultivating effective
  communication skills as what you say.
• Use this time to look
  around the room and find ways to “make a connection” with your
  potential employer (click here for more information on this technique).
• Don’t
  be alarmed if the interviewer does not respond to your questions. Most
  interviewers are trained to remain neutral, and do not want to give an
  indication of how the interview is going at this time.
• If
  the interviewer pauses after an answer and is not taking notes, it
  could be a signal that your answer was not quite what he or she was
  looking for. It’s ok to ask if you misunderstood the question, or
  whether he or she would like you to elaborate.

As awkward as pauses and silences may feel to us naturally, they are
actually a vital part of effective communication skills. Try to retrain
your reaction to them, and use pauses to your advantage in your next
interview.

Another advantage of this interview technique is that it can help the
interviewer understand more about you personally, and how you interact
with people. If your job is people-facing, this can be an important
determining factor. Also, aside from your qualification and experience,
another important consideration for your interviewer is how you will
likely fit in with other people in the office.

Even if you are not particularly good at making small talk, this is
still a skill that you can learn. Here are some tips for using this
effective interview technique to weave in conversation that will help
you connect on a personal level with your potential employer.

• Look for Clues

Look around the
interviewer’s office for any personal effects that might open the door
to a connection. For example, if you see a photograph of a very large
family gathering, you comment on it and mention that you, too come from
a large family (if you do). Find something in the room that you can
personally connect with, and then make a casual and sincere comment
about it.

• Listen for Cues

The skill of listening is
just as important an interview technique as presenting yourself well.
If your interviewer seems uncomfortable talking about personal
information, follow his or her lead. You do not want your attempt to
feel forced or fake. However, if a conversation does develop, do not
take the reigns: let the interviewer remain in control of the
interview.

• Cost your Line

Once you have developed a
personal connection with your interviewer, use it as “bait” you cast
out with your line. For example, if you’ve discovered that you both
have read a certain book, offer to send an interesting review you found
recently. And here’s an extra-special tip: you can use this interview
technique if you haven’t actually read a review! Thanks to the
internet, you can always do some quick research and find one later.
Think creatively, and find some chance to follow up after the interview
is over

• Follow up

To
continue the fishing analogy, don’t forget to “reel in” the bait you
left, and actually follow through on the offer you made. The purpose of
leaving the bait was so that you would have a valid excuse for
contacting your interviewer again, which further cements you in his or
her mind. Send the materials you promised

You never know – even if you are ultimately not chosen for the
position, making this connection may still be valuable to you if
additional positions become available with the company. And making
yourself stand out in the interviewers mind may help them remember to
recommend you to other hiring parties within their company or even
external contacts in his or her network.

So give this little-known interview technique a try in your next
interview. Making a personal connection with your interviewer may just
be the thing that tips the scales in your favor over other candidates
with the same skills and experience. I think you’ll find that it
increases your chance of winning a job position that is an excellent
fit for you.